Skylines
Tuesday, December 25th, 2007I'm no longer a child.
That I am very much sure of. I see that there's so much to hope for and to dream about and to pursue in light of the celebration of youth, my zeitgeist.
And I believe there is no holding back now.
It is time.
Counting Shadows
Saturday, November 3rd, 2007I know this may matter in the next couple of days but no more when I look back at everything. Still. Who says there is no room for closure?
Paskorus is in six days and I really want my class to make it to the finals. I know they are very talented singers and gifted musicians, all of them. And despite that nagging feeling I have that not all really want to join, these people still made the effort to join the rest of the class to compete.
I'm really touched by this despite my misanthropic state of mind. But I can't deny that I have issues to find closure with and the resolution is through a brilliant performance that will land the class a spot in the finals. I know that the two classes with the best performances deserve the finals spots. And really, as long as those classes deserve the finals, it's no issue with me.
But the thing is, sometimes, it's not just talent and hard work that gets credited.
And this is where my frustration comes in.
Maybe I'm overreacting.
I need to breathe. Just because this will be the last choral singing competition I'll be competing in with a class and just because of unresolved issues, I shouldn't get so worked up about all of this. I shouldn't let status quo deprive me of a mindset for the win.
A system of injustice shouldn't bother me now, eh? After all, this is the world.
I know 4 C! will give its best in the Paskorus Eliminations. Win or lose, the section is not compromised.
Absurdity
Saturday, October 27th, 2007Hangal
Isa kang kang hangal.
Umaasa muli sa wala. Ilang beses ka bang kailangang masaktan upang pigilin ang sarili mo? Hanggang ngayon ba'y hindi mo alam kung ano ang nakabubuti sa iyo?
Wala kang kwenta.
Idiin mo yan sa iyong utak.
Wala kang kwenta.
Kinakausap ang sarili? Nasiraan ka na ba ng bait? Akala mo naman kung umasa ka sa magagandang bagay ay mawawala na agad ang takip-silim ng iyong buhay?
Nandito pa ako. Kumakatok sa likuran ng iyong isipan. Hindi ako mawawala. Hanggat hindi mo naaalis ang iyong katangahan, hindi ako mawawala.
Perhaps I have gone off the rocker in non-clinical ways. The author may have not directly told me that this particular blog post he made was for me but I know it's for me.
He said almost the same thing a few days later.
Just maybe, nothing is solved by hoping on something good. I know this. I just forget that I do. I have lived a live learning that nothing in life is permanent and that there is nothing really to hold on to.
The twilight will come and I am sure it will.But can I not make due of what I have in an attempt to make the dawn give way to a better day?
I am not saying that I do not need help or companionship or friendship for that matter. But is there not a time when one should turn in and give up?
There are some things in this world resolve never comes into terms with.
